My phone is out. Please don't think I'm ignoring you if you've called or texted me.

I see someone had "tidied" the Bisexual Community entry on Wikipedia back down to a stub.

Cynical old me suspects this is the first step towards a deletion bid. )c:

When I was a teenager, I was gay. I went to college away from home and had a chance to really explore my sexuality, my identity, my self. I met a guy, we started dating. Eventually I decided to come out to my parents.

In a letter I wrote to them I told them I was gay. I was going out with a man. He was twelve years older than me, and married. He was from Singapore.

On the phone shortly afterwards my mother was horrified. "He's not British and he's married, and .. and he's a man!" She was far more upset about the race than she was about the homosexuality, although she did keep saying that my Father was "sick with worry".

When I went home to visit them next break, she started on about "Gay men are never happy, you know." "How many have you met, Mum?" "Well, none. But my sister knows one." I found my Dad in the garden, doing some weeding. He said "So, your Mum says you're gay now." "Yes Dad." "You know about AIDS and that?" "Yes Dad." He nodded and then asked, "Is the kettle on?"

Years later I came out again, as bisexual. I was off to my first BiCon, the national bisexual convention, and I'd spent the first half of the week off work at my parents. My Mum was asking why I couldn't stay both weekends - so I explained "I'm off to BiCon Mum." "What's that?" "A conference for bisexuals." "But why are you going?" "Because I'm bisexual Mum."

At that point the guard blew the whistle, so I closed the carriage door window and the train pulled away. Timing is everything!

But just last week I was worried I'd need to come out again. We were on the phone and she asked me, "So, have you managed to get any straighter?"

I floundered for a few seconds. "Er, well, you know how it is, not exactly, you see..." and she then dropped what could have been a bombshell "Oh, listen to you, you're as bad as your brother!"

While my mind reeled - had my brother come out and not told me - she finished with "...he's not unpacked either."

I let out a sigh of relief - it wasn't time to have the sexuality conversation again. "No Mum, we've still got a lot of stuff in boxes."

I do have a lot of stuff out of boxes though, and so I'd like to wish you all (in or out) a Happy National Coming Out Day!

Every year on October 12th (or 11th in the USA) we celebrate the bravery of coming out - living in the open as LGBT people.

Coming out of the closet can be scary to do, but most people agree it's better to be honest about sexuality, especially to ourselves.

A lot of people seem to overlook the bisexual contribution to LGBT culture, and we here at the Bisexual Index think that Coming Out Day is a great opportunity to remind people that bisexuals are a part of the community and also have to overcome the 'coming out' hurdle.

Outside the LGBT community, many people don't realise just how many bisexuals there are in our society. If you're thinking of coming out as bisexual, check out our links to good advice, read our FAQ to see how to counter the most likely myths you'll face and good luck!

We'd like to see the invisibility of bisexuality dented this Coming Out Day - especially online! So we've created some graphics to help - just copy and paste the code from our "Coming Out" page into your blog, journal, facebook page or twitter on Coming Out Day! You don't have to be in to come out either - reaffirm your sexuality and come out again!

Spread the word! On Coming Out Day let's show everyone that bisexuality isn't rare, unusual or imaginary! Please repost this on your own blogs, journals, email lists, facebook groups and we can make this a Coming Out Day to remember!

www.bisexualindex.org.uk/out

(Incidentally there's still time to make your own graphics, and if you send them to us and we like them then we'll happily host them for you with a full credit. Or host them yourself, or ask your local bi group to host them and link them to their pages about bisexuality. It's about the coming out!)

Are you going to come out?

To me the phrase "sex with an under-age girl" seems to want to give a sheepish grin and say "hey, c'mon - it's easy to make a mistake". I have a problem with that, with regard to Roman Polanski. ( Discussing child sexual abuse )

Please feel free to propogate! It's a phone-in, in part!

"Thursday from Midnight: Is everyone bisexual?

Freud thought everyone is born bisexual. Is he right?

Is everyone at least a bit bisexual? Are we all on a spectrum. Is bisexuality the natural way we are? Is it our upbringing and society that shapes to go one way or the other.

Or are most simply born straight or gay - and a tiny minority born bisexual?

We're bi-curious to know what you think."

[BBC Listing]

It's the Richard Bacon show, and I'm going to be one of the guests. They're ringing me back later to confirm who I'm on with, and picking me up in a cab at 11pm... that didn't happen, so I'll be live via phone. Bah.

I'll try to plug BiCon (and CBD, Brum BiFest and the rest) but, dear reader, what do you suggest is the bestest euphamism for 'bisexualist' that I can sneak onto the airwaves?

In this post Russell Brand is described as bisexual - has he actually come out anywhere or is this supposition on the author's part?

Because I appear to have missed this. As has Wikipedia.

Thoughts?

Ahoy there!

It occurs to me that while there might be 10 things people think about me that are actually not true, I'm not sure what they are. And some of them might also be true. So, indulge me - fill in this poll and then later I'll make a follow up post. I will not attribute any of the answers I get!

Poll #1449623
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: None, participants: 6

Something about me that you think might be perceived as a misconception, but you reckon is true:

Something about me that you think might be perceived as a well-known fact, but you reckon is false:

BiCon was brilliant, I had a great time. Many thanks and kudos to the team, especially Sanji. It was great to see so many people, and to spend so much time either discussing serious stuff that I can't find the conversations about elsewhere, or relaxing and seeing my friends having fun.

So, last weekend I was LARPing, at Maelstrom. What does that look like? Well - pictures of Maelstrom (not mine). There's three of me, should be easily spottable if you look for something with hair like this usericon, and I tell you that in two of them I'm holding a foam-rubber shovel.

I am extremely pleased that the official(ish) photographer got several shots of me, because the last event I was at I appeared in no-one's photos and that made me pout. I was also told by several people after the game that interacting with my character had been fun, and a few even went as far as to say they thought it a highlight.

It's exhausting, of course. I had to take a few sitting breaks and just let my brain rest because keeping a character up for hours, with a distinctive accent, dictinctive walk and a large echo-y mask on your head really does wear me out. But in an excellent way.

I had to skip the last event due to my health, and the one before I had to bail out of half way through due to footwear issues. This, and hayfever, meant I was very nervous about spending the weekend in a tent, but it all went okay. It's a great game and some great people, and next event I think I'll push myself to get out and about a bit more and do some more meeting of strangers.

If you do fancy a weekend of camping in fancy dress, I heartily recommend it. (c:

Spreadshirt, who host the Bisexual Index t-shirt store, are having a 'free shipping' weekend this weekend (16-19th, it says on the email), so if anyone wants to take advantage of this you need to order two items and use the secret code word FREESHIPPING at checkout. [Bisexual T-shirts]

Here's where we're meeting for the parade. Our usual visibility maximising theme is "Wear Purple For Pride", and I have a few purple shirts somewhere, I'm sure (c;

Poll #1424138
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 12

Right then - London Pride!

Several months ago I sent emails to the organisers asking about Bisexual speakers at the rally, and if they had someone speaking about bi pride, or would they like me to find them someone, or would they let me volunteer to do it. Not a single one of my emails was ever replied to.

Pride London has restructured its role and engagement with the LGBT communities, this area is now Equality and Diversity. As it is now all groups are formally now part of pride London and are managed by specially appointed convenors for all areas.
(From pridelondon.org/about.php)

The communities/groups listed are: B.A.M.E (Black and Asian Minority Ethnic), Youth and Pride, Older Persons, Trans, Women and Disability. I've emailed again asking if they'll consider having a Bi group, but I don't expect I'll receive a response...

Pride marches are important in many ways. Two good reasons are remembering that the great battles of the past were fought by people from across the LGBT spectrum and showing the world we're not ashamed to be ourselves. But another important one is allowing the LGBT community to marvel at its own internal diversity, or lack thereof. If the Trans group or BAME group decided to boycott Pride one year then I'm quite sure people would notice - not just in the heirarchy of the organisation (because it's an official Pride group) but also during the march due to the lower number of those people.

Would the same thing happen if we didn't organise a bi presence? If we don't show up, I'm not sure they would.

If you're in London on Saturday, why not come down. Be in the march parade or at the rally or wave from behind the barriers. Wear purple, or don't. But do please recognise - Bisexuals can have Pride.

( Update! )

Incidentally, if you've bought one of these bisexual t-shirts and have a picture of you (or someone else) wearing it, I'd love to see it!

Two excellent blog posts about rape, language and blame: here and here.

Currently I cannot play any musical instruments, nor read music.

If I wanted to learn to read music and play an instrument, what would be the best way to go about it?

"My Brute" is indeed quite cute, and the person who 'recruits' you gets some loot - when you level up they get an experience point to boot.

Mine is somewhat square-headed.

Micheal Musto, in particular, seems certain that no-one's 50/50 and so no-one's bisexual really.

I do think that some gay men peddle the 50/50 "real bisexual" model so that they don't need to analyse their attraction to a handful of women and then question their own identity.

Anyway - he's amazingly succinct. We're not bisexual unless we're 50/50 and if we say we're 50/50 we're "full of shit".

I'd say he was a shining wit, but my surname's not Spooner...

Ah, [thought so]. I have a dozen tablets set aside from last year, and a prescription for more.

If you were dithering about when to start, get to the doctors!

Oxfordshire PCT has decided that just having gender dysphoria and demonstrating the criteria that any other PCT would need to start treatment isn't enough. Exceptional circumstances are needed, and other illnesses have to have been caused by this condition. The bar is set very high, far higher than it is in other UK areas. There's a detailed paper on this [here] but in (very brief) summary:

• Oxfordshire PCT has decided to classify this illness as merely a low priority 'psychological state', which needs not have treatment funded until it has caused other severe health problems. These actually disbar surgery, so if you get a referral then you won't get the surgery.
  
  
• It is unlawful to make this kind of policy decision as it effectively bars transsexualism from treatment (as per The Parliamentary Forum on Transsexualism)
  
  
• Other PCTs in the region do not require "exceptional circumstances" to be proved before authorising treatment for this.

I agree with the paper's authors that this is effectively instituionalised transphobia. Please take a moment to read this petition on the subject. You do need to be in the UK and give your name and address to sign it, but that is a standard part of all official UK e-petitions: [Petition at number10.gov.uk] (oh, and it can take a while for the signature list to be refreshed, so don't panic!)

Can we propagate this too? It needs 200 signatures to be taken seriously, but the amount of seriousness one gets for 200 is nowhere near the amount one gets for a lot more. Feel free to link to this post or cut/paste bits into your own journals and blogs.

BiFests are one day bi events celebrating bisexuality and are a lot of fun. It's Brighton BiFest tomorrow, did you know? Discussions during the day, with a crafts area and a community fair (not the sort with dodgems, iirc) and then speed-dating, spacehopper racing and a disco in the evening.

I'll be there, looking forward to seeing some of you all there too.